“MARRIAGE MADNESS, MARRIAGE MISERY, OR THE MASTER’S MIRACLE OF MARRIAGE GRACE?”
BY J.FARRELL FISHER, AUGUST 30-31, 2018
Browsing the inner-net on my computer recently, from HTTPS://www.divorce source. Com/ main/U.S. divorce – rates –and Statistics -1037.SHTMl stated: “The U.S., since 1980.- ‘we have about 2.4 million marriages a year and 1.2 million divorces a year.’”
I hope you won’t think I’m “scandalous”, paraphrasing passages in James related to ‘disciples’, but I want to use the context of the passage to relate it to “marriages and divorces in the U.S.A. today”! James 4:1-10, paraphrased by J.Farrell Fisher, says:
“You ask, and receive not, because in ‘your marriage-dilemma’ you ask selfishly, that you may continue in your selfish, self-serving way. Adulterers and adulteresses (even spiritually), do you not know ‘friendship with the world’s false marriage ways’ is enmity with God?
Do you think the Holy Word says in vain, ‘the marriage-spirit’ that dwells in you ‘lusts’ in envy’? But Holy God gives more grace. Wherefore He resists that ‘self-centered-marriage-indifference’, but gives and keeps on giving grace to the humble.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist Satan, as he seeks to destroy your marriage faithfulness, and he will flee from you. When ‘temptations’ come to walk away from your ‘marriage vows’, cleanse your hearts, you sinners, and Satan will flee from you.
Draw near to God; and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and wash your minds and hearts in the blood of Calvary’s Lamb, you ‘twisted-mind’ professor of faith. Be broken by the Spirit and the Word, weep, and mourn; let your ‘fleshly laughter’ be turned to mourning, and your ‘fleshly joy’ to extreme heaviness of heart. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE!”
The end of Verse 29 in Luke 12 says, “…don’t be of a doubtful mind”, yet carelessly, when wounded by marriage infidelity, some choose to just ‘walk away’ ignoring God’s Word, Jeremiah 33:3, “Call unto Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you know not.”
But many have problems about ‘marital infidelity’, because of their even ‘mixed up’ religious, personal, or ‘brain-division’, like Einstein, though seemingly ‘religious’ in a sense, who once said: [From Manu Varghese, Nikea 1100 to I phone 5’s], “I do not believe in a personal God and I never have denied this but have expressed it clearly,” or, “clearly, I’m not a disciple of Christ, or a personal God.”].
And when it comes to “marriage and/or divorce”, many, certainly, are assured in themselves that “He has no place in what they decide to do for themselves”!!
But Edmund Burke once said: ( The Encyclopedia of Religious Quotations, edited by Frank S. Mead, Fleming H. Revell Company,p.296), “The Christian religion (or Faith), by confining marriage to pairs (husband and wife!!), and rendering the relation indissoluble, has by these two things done more toward the peace, happiness, settlement, and civilization of the world, than by any other part in this whole scheme of divine wisdom.” SO TRUE!!
It was William Wordsworth, in “Excursion”, (Bk.VI), who wrote: “Why do not words and kiss, and solemn pledge, And nature that is kind in woman’s breast, And reason that in man is wise and good, AND fear of Him who is a righteous Judge, – Why do not these prevail for human life, To keep two hearts together, that began Their spring-time with one love.” Great question!
I don’t know who wrote it, but I read it a long, long time ago, and kept it for such a time as this: “If a child of God marries a child of the devil, said child of God is sure to have some trouble with his father-in-law.” Classic word!!
There is no doubt in my mind and heart that the sanctity of marriage and the family relationship is one of the strong pillars of a nation’s foundation that keeps it up to the glory of God, but when the majority of a nation grants ‘acceptance’ of divorce as ‘OK’, it signs the beginning of its own ‘death warrant’ as ‘one nation under God’! At the same time, irresponsible spiritual ‘professors’ of faith in marriage, see it as ‘vital’ in ceremony but optional when ‘heat’ arises!
For some, ‘fleshly pleasures’ outside of marriage are ‘OK’ as long as one continues to attend church on Sunday! Some see marriage as acceptable, but they’ll scream that marriage without leniency in outside ‘fleshly indulgence’ is unacceptable to them. ‘Love pretense’ is not the same as ‘divine love practice’! There is no ‘peace’ when marriage vows are seen as unimportant or unnecessary when ‘one’ or both in supposed ‘holy matrimony’ accept the ‘promise’ but without consequences if one chooses to ‘play’ the ‘flesh, worldly, or Satanic way’ in marriages!
Matthew 19:5-6, Jesus speaking, declares, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Holy God didn’t INSTITUTE marriage with ‘options’, nor does He overlook or excuse marital infidelity by ‘promiscuous intercourse’ of ‘friends’, but HIS ‘faithful marriage vows’ are intended to promote marriage faithfulness and, yes, protect children that come from their supposed loving relationship.
I’m now 82 years of age, but still have, yes, pain over the divorce of my mom and dad when I was three years of age. After the divorce, my mother took me to her parents, where from 3 years of age to 12 years of age, I was with my grandparents, but also with my mother’s two sisters, one just two years older than me and the other about six years older than me – godly grandparents were needed, but those two sisters, my young aunts, compassionately and faithfully loved me, plus, in church attendance with them, I was blessed by faithful men, disciples of Christ, who went out of their way to love, serve, bless, and encourage me!! My mother re-married, her husband unsaved, but after about seven years with mom and him, then Baylor University and Seminary, just about three weeks before he died at 78 years of age, he said to me, “Farrell, all these years you’ve shared the gospel truth with me – one more time would you share it?” I did! He prayed! About three weeks after, one of the retirement nurses called Sue and I asking, “What has happened to Frank Callaway? He’s not the same man – he travels the halls and cafeteria telling everybody about Christ Jesus!”
Even ‘divided marriages’ at times have ‘flashes’ of Light in Christ that can, do, and will make a difference in some children’s lives, because the ‘believer’ intercedes to the glory of God for all the family, including maybe an unsaved partner.
THERE ‘IS’ MARRIAGE MADNESS, FOR SOME! There was a statement in “Changing Times” years and years ago that stated: “Marriages may be made in heaven, but man is responsible for the maintenance work”, and seriously sad that often times neither one or the pair understand “maintenance work”. And some accept no responsibility OR accountability in seeing the “marriage honors God”!
It’s so interesting AND convicting that 1 John 3:8 talks about “Christ coming to earth to destroy the works of the devil”, but you yourself see no marriage conflict as the ‘works of the devil’, so, you assure yourself you can handle marriage difficulties without the help of “the Savior”! How clueless is that for some in the midst of ‘marriage turmoil’?? Both individually and as a twosome in marriage, we both must see the eternal purpose of our marriage union, AND togetherness in seeing it exists for the spiritual purpose of glorifying the God who brought ‘us together’ and who wants to see our marriage problems resolved in full surrender to Him.
But across America, most in marriage unions fail because, though believing in God, He surely cannot be the foundation of their ‘fleshly union’, even when He instituted His eternal purposes in marriage before its foundation of the earth! When the marriage union, yes, often shuts God out, they willfully do so with no hope of Him fulfilling His eternal plan through their marriage union!
But hear me! In “Christian marriages”, Christ IS to have His rightful place in the union as His gathering place of both “salt and Light” to honor Himself and to sustain a sacred marriage for the enrichment, blessing, hope, and fruit of the Spirit in both husband and wife, plus the ‘kids’ that usually come!!
What does Matthew 5:14 tell us? “You are the light of the world. A ‘marriage’ that exists through Me is set on a hill”, yes, as shining lights to a needy world around you!! Do you understand? He’s not telling YOU in marriage union to ‘go out and find a light’ – “in Christ”, whether husband or wife or the union of the two, “Let Jesus’ Light shine through each of you to one another”!
Tony Evans, in his book, “America’s Only Hope,” (published by Moody Press, Chicago, in 1990), told the following ‘eye and heart-opening statement’ about Matthew 5:14: “Notice, that Jesus didn’t say, ‘Go out and get the light so you can brighten things up.’ He said, “You ARE the light.” When you are something, you don’t have to go out to find it. All you have to do is discover what you are,” (and I say, ‘discover who Jesus is in you!). Evans went on:
“There’s a story about a little eagle that fell out of its nest and landed in a turkey farm. The eagle grew up among the turkeys and, although he looked a bit different, learned to waddle like a turkey, bob his head like a turkey, and act like a turkey.
One day the young eagle looked up into the sky and saw a beautiful eagle soaring above. The little eagle in the turkey yard thought, “Oh, I’d love to be able to do that!” As the eagle soared overhead, it looked down and saw the young eagle below. Suddenly it swooped down to the ground and asked, “What are you doing here?” The little eagle replied, “I’m just here in the turkey yard where I’ve always been.”
The great eagle looked and said, “Spread your wings, boy. You do just what I do. Follow me.” Then he flapped his wings and lifted off the ground. The young eagle tried it, too. “Whee! This is all right!” “See,” the mature eagle said, “you’ve been living among these turkeys so long that you were beginning to believe you’re something you’re not! Follow me, and you’ll find out what you really are.”
“But I’m scared,” the little eagle replied. “I won’t know what to do when I get out of the turkey yard.” “When you get out of here, you’ll find out,” the big eagle answered. So the little eagle began to soar and fly. He loved it. But the turkeys down below called out to him and said, “Hey little guy, what are you doing up there? You belong down here.” .. “No, I don’t,” called out the young eagle. “I used to belong there, but now I’m what I was created to be. I don’t belong with you turkeys anymore.”
Question! Do YOU truly know to Whom you belong in your world? To the world, your old sin nature, to Satan? OR, are you owned by Christ’s blood purchase, and do you see yourself as truly “the Son of God in and through Christ alone, MARKED BY THE INDWELLING PRESENCE OF HIS HOLY SPIRIT”?
Another book I’ve treasured is a book by Jerry B. Jenkins entitled “Loving Your Marriage Enough To Protect it”, published by Moody Press in Chicago in 1989, 1993. He wrote: “One of the saddest and scariest stories I’ve ever heard on this subject was about a young evangelist. He was just barely twenty-one, on fire for God, effective in his preaching and soul-winning, and in great demand from local churches. He had preached several large crusades and was soon invited to an area-wide effort at which he would be the main speaker.
Though he was not yet out of college, he was a protégé of international evangelist Sammy Tippet and was admired and considered wise. Though he didn’t have a steady girlfriend, he dated regularly at Bible college. Spiritually he was alert and mature. He was, however, naïve. The first night of the crusade he headed up the counseling ministry in a large room near the pastor’s study. A beautiful teenager asked if she could speak with him personally. He tried to assign her to someone else, but, when she persisted, he agreed for her to wait until he was finished with the others. More than an hour after the meeting had ended, the rest of the counselors and counselees had left, and he was alone with the young girl. A few minutes later she burst from the room screaming, “He made a pass at me! He wanted to make love to me!”
That very night the pastor of the host church and a small group of the crusade planners confronted the young preacher and demanded an explanation. He denied the girl’s charge but had no witnesses. The girl had seemed an upstanding young woman in the church, and there was no reason to disbelieve her story. “What did happen in that room?” the pastor demanded.
“To tell you that would be to make an accusation behind someone’s back,” he said. “Which is what happened to me. I ask only that I be allowed to face my accuser.” The pastor and the others canceled the rest of the crusade and agreed that the young woman should be asked to face the preacher in their presence. Two nights later she showed up with her parents at a private board meeting. The pastor asked if she would care to speak about her charges against the preacher.
“She has already said all she has to say,” her father said sternly, her mother nodding and glaring at the accused. “Would you, son, care to share your version of what happened in that room the other night?” “No sir,” the evangelist said. “I see no future in that. Only she and I know the truth, and I cannot defend myself. I’d just like to say this to her. Cindy, you know what happened and what didn’t happen in that room. If you don’t tell the truth, I will be branded and may never preach again. This will damage my reputation and that of the church and even that of God. If I did what you say I did, I deserve no better, but we both know that is not the truth. I’m begging you in the name of Christ to set the record straight.”
The silence hung heavy as the board and her parents watched her face contort into a grimace before the tears began to flow. “I lied”, she said quietly. “I’m sorry. I lied. He didn’t make a pass at me; I made a pass at him. When he turned me down I was so embarrassed and ashamed and angry that I made up that story. I’m so sorry.” That preacher is no longer young. He has never again allowed himself to be alone in a room with a female to whom he is not related.” For YOUR testimony to the glory of God, is your marriage the testimony of God’s blessings because of His promises and your faithfulness to your marriage, or sadly, do you have to admit that you’ve allowed your marriage vows before Holy God to just wither away? Sadly, too many marriages today, with both husbands and/or wives are allowed to ‘wither’ rather than be a testimony that glorifies Christ Jesus and His Word! Why not, “Our marriage IS the ‘new creation’ in Christ, and ‘in Him, by Him, and for Him, to the glory of God!”